Heal Your Future Potential Birth Spell

    One of the hardest things to talk about is how my disability prevents me from having children. I do not mean to take away anyone else's choice in having children or judge them for their unwillingness to give up on the possibility. However, sometimes there are things you can't control. It can be unfair and detrimental to your child if their birth is forced to happen. Their quality of life will sometimes be low, if a developmental problem or chronic illness is genetic. It is important to reflect on why you want a child. For me, it is to start a new line that has learned a karmic lesson I believe is behind my family's genetic auto-immune diseases. I needed a spell that adapt to this. After looking up some healing and fertility spells, I realized I could easily make one. 

    Any spell can be adjusted and customized to meet your needs, so the spell I created can be a guide to help you create your own. Because there is so much on the line when creating new life in to the world, and so much we don't always know, like when the right moment might be, I wanted to allow the magic to do what is best. In 2012, I connected with two possible children while living with who is now my ex. One looked exactly like me, and the other did not have a face. I only saw a shadow of a little boy outlined in white. I never got the chance to try to have those children. 

    When I reflected on this years later, I decided my little girl was trying to warn me that if she came in to being, she would have the same life as me. In the dream world, she seemed very happy and healthy. The shadow child was an unlikely possibility. He could have been a miscarriage. My little girl instructed me to name her Skylar. I would call her Sky. That vision stayed with me and no matter who I was with, I kept my little girl in mind. This has been one of the driving reasons I have tried so hard to heal myself. I was told not too long ago I must go get tested and examined. Depending on what they find, I must make a choice of weather to ontinue in the health state I am at currently, or allow them to remove some things. This means, I must prepare myself to make a very hard decision, weather to hold out hoping for a child, or permanently stop my body from giving birth. The thought of not having kids breaks my heart. I always knew I would never be capable to doing so, but I like to know my body is still capable of giving birth. With all the talk about the problematic emphasis on fertility magic in Wicca, I thought this was a really good subject to write about. I wish it had come up before Halloween, to give me more time, but I was told this very sad news, exactly on Samhain. I also thought it would be good to talk about as so many people seem to be having trouble having children. 

    When going to the fertility clinic and various organizations to help people with disabilities, none had support groups for people that could not have children, because of their disability. the clinic told me I had to have a partner or be trying to have a baby before they would help me. the only books recommended were how to become fertile, not about accepting your body for what it is in its current state. I needed a guide to help me, so I had to make one. I could do a fertility spell on myself, but it did not help me learn to accept myself. that's why this spell is meant to be done slowly over time. You can stop this spell if you receive a message or guidance that changes things. You can even extend it from 9 nights to 9 months. This allows for more meditation and reflection. the purpose of this spell is to heal your potential for giving birth to heal your future child. Giving birth takes a lot of work, so this is not a quick fix-it spell. This is a very long building up of magic.

    I call this spell Heal Your Future Potential Birth Spell, because it is a very unique intention. It is a great way to set yourself and your unborn child up for a good healthy future, not matter in what lifetime that may be. We can not be sure we've completed our karmic lessons and adding in family karma means more parties will be taken in to account in the decision to create new life in the family line. I feel this spell embodies the sensitivity and the personal intention I need. This spell is created to be done over 9 nights. I hope it inspires you to come up with your own. Some aspects and symbolism of this spell, I chose not to share. Some are way to personal and it is important to protect myself and my magic from magical harm. I will not be sharing pictures or photos either, like I do normally. Please let me know if you've had any experience, ideas, or success with a similar spell in the comments below. 

Ingredients:
` mint tea leaves
` a key
` an orange crystal egg [representation of your unborn child.]
` a cat whisker
` a teacup
` a green Opal
` a green cloth
` a green ribbon
` rose petals 

Instructions:

Step 1: [First Night] Creating a Link:

Take the carved egg and breath with it on your belly. Ask it if it would be your representation before you start, if you haven't mad3 it yourself. Meditate with it and breath in to it. Allow your energies to merge. The egg will tell you when this process is complete. Take it and roll it in to the cloth. Fold the cloth four times. Wrap the ribbon gently around it four times. You will need to take it out and rewrap it later, so not too tight.

say: "May you come in to being when the time is appropriate for us all. 

Then may you be a blessing to us all!

for the greatest good of all!"

Step 2: Commune With Your Child:

Say' "It is done!"

Place it under your pillow. This is important, so you can receive any information that might help you with your spell.

Step 3 [Second Night] The Healing:

Make yourself some tea. Be sure to set half the dry tea aside.  Use a prosperity rather than health, because you want the effects to last. You can use a cinnomon stick to stir it with. Stir in a symbol or sigil for your intention. I will be using runes myself. Imagine that intention flowing from your heart dancing in to the cup. Place the green Opal or stone of choice on the saucer or by your cup. You can sprinkle half your Rose petals around your cup. If they are safe to consume, you could add them to your tea blend. Red roses will be better for women's health and vitality. Wave the cat whisker over the tea.

Step 4: Open the Door:

Turn your key clockwise over the cup as if opening a door and say: 

"I open myself to receive.

I walk through to new ways of living

Embody new ways of being

I am healed. I believe.

Step 5: drink your tea, leaving a few drops at the bottom. As you drink listen for any messages from spirit guides, deities, or things your body may tell you. Feel the warmth spread throughout your body.

Say, "It is done!"

Step 6: Fertilize Your egg:

If your egg will not desolve, in water, you can place it directly in the water. If not, place it above the cup. This is linking your health to the health of the unborn child. Sprinkle the water on the egg or on the cloth. Sprinkle the tea in to the cloth. Wave your cat whisker over the egg slowly. If you know it, say your child's name out loud. Wrap your egg back up and stick the whisker on top or tie it in to the ribbon. Careful not to put time constraints in your intention. 

Step 7 Close Your Door:

At this point it is important to remember to close up your door. You can lock it by turning your key counterclockwise, twice or more. You may also want to clap your hands or snap over the cup to protect your magic.DO NOT FORGET this step. 

Step 8 Dream! Dream! Dream!:

Place it back under your pillow.

Say "It is done!

Step 9 The Offering:

Offer the water and spell remains to the earth in a sacred place and thank her for their help. You can also scatter the rea in to your garden.

Say "be it so!" 

Celebrating the Light of Sumer 2023

NEVER FORGET TO LAUGH, APPRECIATE THOSE STUNNING MOMENTS IN YOUR BACKYARD, ESPECIALLY WITH CLOSE LOVED ONES! 

 

🥀❤️🍉

This may sound silly, but it meant a whole lot to me. As I was watching the last bit of the sunlight go down, saying a bit of a late quiet goodbye to Freyr. [Midsummer seemed to start a little late too this year, so why not,] a friend started singing Welcome to Valhalla. I burst out laughing. He saw it brought a smile to my face and continued. I looked at him suddenly with a lightbulb on my brow. I found a video and started singing with him. I sang like we sing the sun up during Winter Solstice. I laughed, I cried, and laughed at how silly I looked, attempting some of the moves from the game. I made myself dizzy, I nearly fell to the ground. That's when I realized why lawns are so popular. lol 

I AM WELL AWARE SOME OF THE POP-CULTURE REPRESENTATIONS OR ASPECTS OF THE Norse Gods presented may be inaccurate and sometimes insulting. I know this is totally not how to work with Freyr traditionally and I know what the song is about, but I felt he would appreciate the laughter, as opposed to my sadness. I felt suddenly spiritually moved at really the wrong time and went with it. I KNEW TOO, HE WOULD BE BACK AND I could honor him in Winter. Still, but this year felt so slow, and I felt as though we've only just met. I needed something to make me laugh too. I sang Freyr a welcome to Valhalla.

He knows what's in my heart and knows I know the truth, HOW TO HONOR HIM RIGHTLY. He knows I've never been able to let my primal self out. He knows I never learned to play. That's exactly what this song did for me. Though, I skipped over some words and made a parody of sorts, like seeing someone off. I began adding my own movements unconsciously, releasing my gratitude and love in the air. This is the first time I have ever given myself space to do this. There is a time to be serious and anyone, who follows the Norse path knows this all too well. This, however, was a time to celebrate each other and appreciate the last bits of this stunningly beautiful and breezy Sumer night. It was a time to appreciate the rare finding of this huge watermelon with seeds. I hoped in my heart the earth was showing signs of thriving again.

Maybe it was the Watermellon cooler I was drinking, maybe the singing, or the beautiful bush changing its leaves for the new season, but I felt Freyr laughing loudly with us. I felt him surround us. I could truly put meaning behind thanking him for giving up his life and becoming the wild boar. It changed my perspective of cycles, the seasons, and even death. It is easy to say, "there are no goodbyes, only time," but how many of us actually feel this concept? Most of all, I realized I have the bestest friend in the world, who gave me a safe space to express my childish wild side! The best spiritual moments always happen at the wrong times, in the quiet moments when the world lays still, as if the world stops for you to tap in as deeply as you can in to these great revelations. Traditions don't matter in the end unless your hearts and speech are full of love and the best intents. The best traditions are the ones we make with the best memories. Again, this is much easier to say than it is to feel. In those moments of feeling, the God, the season, and the sun became one. I looked at a beautiful hole in the trees that broke out in to a vast blue sky. This tradition, my tradition, will be called Sing to the Sky. Next year, I'll have a song ready. I'll be honest. If nothing else, it helped me transition in to Autumn much better. I haven't felt so spiritually moved since the pandemic started in 2019. What made this experience all the more perfect was that others were enjoying it with me. It did not matter what I saw or what they felt or didn't feel from it. I finally felt like I could enjoy the last bit of Sumer with loved ones, each in our own ways. 

I wanted to share this with all of you, because I thought someone might benefit from reading this, whether they still find it difficult to let themselves go in their magical practice, or someone needs to hear someone else validate their experience. It is very hard to be A Tiny Witch in this crazy time period. We still need to be as free as we want to be while still being just as educated. Often, we are not taken seriously. Other times our serious worries about are VERY SERIOUS PRACTICE, can get in the way. We can get in our own way and allow others to as well. I think having a little fun and engaging in silly pop-culture representations of the Gods can be healthy, so long as you and them, have that understanding and type of relationship. In my personal opinion, these pop-culture references are what keep the Gods still alive in our world. They have the ability to change and warp the story. That's something to become more aware of, but they also keep the stories alive. 

Blessed Be 💓

Shadows Against The Dark Moon

Sometimes I feel the most witchy when I am out on my porch, smelling the first rain of Spring and other times, listening to Gothic Romantic/Death Metal. It brings me to a place of wholeness, but I am afraid to explore the dark side of the Goddess or even Persephone. Many find it helpful for exploring and expressing this duality inside. Ironic that I didn't feel this same calling, right? I finally felt the shift a few years ago and longed to start that journey, but up until now, I have not been able to. It starts with the darker places inside us. Until we address and acknowlledge those places, we can't begin our journey. Two Goddesses came to me together. Shortly after that, I received guidance on how to connect to a third, that I have been wanting make contact with since the start of my witchcraft journey. Then I began to become more intrigued with another Goddess from the Norse Pantheon. This all was just too much to think about, but I knew if I didn't start when I felt this calling, I never would. My pile of reading and things to do would only pile even higher. I mapped out a schedule. I am hoping to keep to this weekly, with some wiggle room. I am hoping to share with you some of the interesting places it took me. Some of these dieties are not dark, but posses a dark side, or dark half to their nature. Others are misunderstood. I am not one to work with dieties regularly, but it seemed like a diety party was being thrown and I had better be prepared to host.

Each day of the week I work with one diety and try to focus on tasks of interest to bond with them farther. I can switch every other week between two, to ensure my practice remains inspiring, and to give myself a break. I do this to make sure I have time for all of the information to sink in deeper than if I had only done the bare minimum. Switching tasks also helps me tackle more. I also tried to decide what tasks enhance each other. Some are fun, like my writing and others are meant to balance my practice and keep my body healthy, like my hiking and exercises. I know it will be difficult to accomplish it all and there will be weeks when I can not do everything I want to do as quickly as I want to or not at all, but that is not the point of a practice. Is It? I want to do this to motivate myself to get in to a rhythm, so I don't feel swamped when I look at my planner, realizing I've forgotten something. One of the biggest things I tend to forget that I want to do, is my rune readings on Wednesdays. No matter how hard I try, I always forget and end up arranging to do them on Sundays. I know I could just simply choose to aim for Sundays, but it is more about honoring Odin and giving myself so much to do I am forced to remember. I work well under pressure, not so great for a person with chronic illness issues. lol Sometimes we need a kick in the ass to get us going. This was one of those times. 

After reading about Arianrhod and making an offering to Ceredwen for the first time, I discovered quite a bit about how they have come in to my life. I also discovered along with Blodeuwedd, they form a Goddess triad. I looked her up and realized she is a very similar energy to Eostre, another goddess I've been interested in from a completely different culture, I have no interest in. I knew then Blodeuwedd was the actual Goddess I sensed. I also realized Arianrhod came to me through my love of crystals. For a while, I was particularly drawn to white, silver, and opaque stones. Moonstone follows me everywhere, whether I wanted it to or not. In fact, I detest the overuse of Moonstone. I went through this phase where I had to start collecting white river rocks. Then I had a dream about a huge giant Aragonite Star crystal in my room. It took over my space and before I knew it, I devoured its energy and found myself laying on it. It took some time to narrow donw exactly what crystal was trying to connect with me. I actually found a huge selenite specimen I absolutely loved, but knew it was too large to keep displayed. I now am a proud owner of a Cave Calcite in a beautiful glass orb on my crystal shelf, so gathering supplies to connect with this Goddess energy was easy. Then more white stones came, sometimes the same type. One of my favorites is Howlite, but it is difficult to find. It came too, in batches. No, I didn't always take them. I only took a second one, but there was no doubt, some energy was trying to get in touch with me. Arianrhod told me that my problem with manifesting and finishing things was not too little action or trying harder, but in my willingness to allow myself rest. She explained that in rest we gather power. She related this concept to me with the rune Isa. That let me know she had been watching me. I looked up a few blogs of others that have worked with her. One of the biggest themes I saw was how willing she was to encourage people to work with other dieties. This is actually what inspired me to start this journal. It makes a big difference to anyone seeking. I found all kinds of blogs out there, only ready by a few others, because everyone wants you to be on Facebook and make Youtube videos. The significance of Arianrhod willing to work with other dieties to help you, seemed rather unusual, so I wanted to make sure it was really her and if anyone else has experienced a similar perception of her. I've heard you can not bring some dieties in the same room if the cultures they come from are too different. Some can be in circle together and others refuse to be. After learning this, I am always careful to take note of this when inviting spirits in to my space. After meeting Freyr too many of them came to me at once. Some old connections appeared again. To realize one of those new connections was supporting my current practice with the Norse pantheon, meant this was how my journey was meant to be. I was walking the path I needed to walk on, and I was doing it. Everyone experiences dieties differently. I never needed to decide how I felt about this. A sense of similarity and/or oneness with all the dieties came to me. They all seemed to have similar energies. This meant my practice could become much simpler, if I wanted it to. When I first felt what I now know to be Arianrhod, I thought it was Brigit. I found out that Hectcate, who I was introduced to in the beginning of my witchcraft journey was sometimes seen as Ceredwen's counterpart. I don't feel much from this idea. I simply wanted to make note of it here, purely out of interest, but it is very possible either one or both of them were with me from the start and I just didn't know it. I never thought I'd experience dieties in a soft polytheastic view. I've always believed in many and found the oneness concept, especially in the Norse pantheon with Odin, difficult to grasp. Although, that too has changed in my recent experiences as well. 

Arachne research came next. In this, I discovered two things. None of the interpretations of the tale of Arachne and Atheena tale sit well with me, and I quickly realized Atheena had been trying to reach out to me as well. When I think about the interpretation that Arachne was in the right, it makes sense, but I think these interpretations are missing one very big thing. Although I have never worked with the Greek pantheon, many dieties do not see black and white the way we do. They do not usually see wrong or right with nothing between, in my experience and from what I have learned from others. Their understanding is often more complex than ours. This story for me was about the balance of power in working with a diety. What are they doing? They are weaving. They are both telling the same story in two mirroring perspectives. Sometimes opposing forces just can't get along and must agree to disagree. Why else would Atheena change Arachne in to a creature that could still spin? It was about remembering, both, where you came from and honoring your own power and talents. It is about a younger generation creating great changes in tradition and the resistance of the older generation of wise ones. It is a tale about perspective. Atheena was clearly giving Arachne a different perspective. Although I don't think the version that claims she painted the gods having sex with animals was likely valid, it is most interesting that she was changed in to one. Spiders teach us to detach from the story and see a bigger picture of opportunities as we hang, waiting for what we want/insects to approach. I've also heard versions of her changing herself in to the spider. In either version, the very act of a spider hanging can symbolize a perspective change. I think this is why the two goddesses often come in a pair together. They are the balance. 

Personally, I have trouble with the Greek pantheon. This in part is the trauma done to me and something I need to work on. Another part is that I do not feel the tales or at least the versions we know have something to teach me. For a long time, the Greek pantheon became a trigger of fear for me. I avoid talking about or even entertaining the idea of the Greek myths whenever possible. I loved the myths when I was a kid, but not because I believed in the gods. I think they were simply a window to the ancient world I was always seeking. I respect the pantheon, especially because they are one of the most remembered. I always wondered where my love of the Greek myths disappeared. After I tried to figure out why Atheena was knocking at my door, and why I ignored her, I came to the conclusion that the Arachne and Atheena tale shows me my worst fear, which is rooted in my fear of becoming arrogant. I never push myself to be confident, because I am afraid of taking things too far. I already knew Arachne was here to show me how to find my voice and stand up for what I believed, but Atheena knows why I feel the way I do about the Greek gods. Why would she be here? There was only one clear answer. She was here as a support to ensure I would keep to this balance. Atheena is a Goddess of War as well. Wars can be inside of ourselves. I don't believe she was trying to warn me or came to me to cause fear inside me, as some sources suggested. I don't believe gods do that unless they are trying to help us see something or want us to do some work within, by the way. I have never been in any type of contract with her or given her an offering of any kind. This could even be Arachne making it clear to me who she was and reassuring me she was not Loki lol, or she could be the one causing the fear to show me exactly how she wants to work with me. 

Here's the thing. I am a Leo. I hate being a Leo. I hate that image of arrogance and self-obsessiveness. My father is a Leo too and not the well-balanced great kind of King. In fact, I also have issues with the words king or queen, because they are unnecessary words for the same concept of a ruler. I don't think gender or sex should matter unless you are deliberately putting the other down. I know myself well and do not like the aspect of myself that is drawn to aspects of leadership, the same things symbolic to Leos. I am often drawn to the color gold and sunlight. When I see something has to be done about a situation, I act, even if it is getting others together. This same aspect is represented in my pop-culture practice, using Harry Potter. Yeah, in any house sorting test, I am always, "Are you sure you're not Harry Potter?" I don't want the responsibility of leadership. I act, because I want something to benefit others. It is never ego driven for me. However, I won't lie. I do a lot of mirror work. lol I am sensitive about my hair, and I try too hard on my appearance. Appearance can inspire people. While I do it for magical reasons, I sense my ego working its way back in to my life and I hate it, so I think this Arachne and Atheena tale plays on my worst fears in the worst of ways. It does take ego to lead. The ego is the thing that drives us forward, so I guess I'd better get used to it. When I started trying to honor dieties in Witchcraft, it was extremely uncomfortable. I was so afraid I was going to do something wrong that disrespected them. Unfortunately, I catch myself saying things I wish I wouldn't have said about some Greek gods, because my fear of them takes over. They have never done anything to me. Someone in my life played the voice of them and I admit, I allowed them too. I know if I ever speak to them, I will feel differently, but I was hoping to avoid that day for as long as possible. I guess I can't now. This shall be interesting. 

I was planning on finding different ways of reading the runes and coming in to a trance state, but honestly, my week was interrupted with some emergencies, so I will let myself off the hook for a few things this week. I know this is only my first week of this, but oh well, life. Right?! **sigh** I started meditating with the runes first. I did not feel like I could bring myself in to a good state to do a reading. When it came time to pick up my rune, I had an idea. I found by placing the rune on my fingers, palms up, and resting my thumb gently on it helped me enter a deeper meditative state than looking at it. There are rare moments I talk about my low vision, but there are rare moments when I have to be totally blind. I can usually practice with very little need for extra accommodations. It occurred to me that I was working with runes. This was something tactile I can touch or hold in my hand. Why wasn't I working with them in this way? Straining to see the image of the rune while relaxing my eyes is near impossible. I can do it, but I can't control them very well or for very long. This means they are never at a complete state of rest. I also find closing my eyes helpful at times. This meditation carried me through a massive understanding of the rune I was working with. Sometimes I listen to guided meditations about the runes, but having that quiet time helped me to hear my inner voice. This is something I've felt called to in my runes practice as well, to focus more deeply on my relationship with each rune. I was even able to take myself on a journey.

For my birthday this month, I received a beautiful handmade book with an old-fashioned key and a hand painted leaf design on the leather cover. It is filled with handmade paper and a section about the creator. I nearly cried when I saw it. I also started writing more about my serious practice in few Barns & Nobbles giftable hardcover journals. So much for my homemade book of shadows. :]  I decided to continue and wrote in a few more store-bought journals. Then I decided to create this big fat digital journal of all the fun stuff I want to share with you and all the crazy new things about my journey. I will use my handmade physical book for any art experiments and maybe some art offerings. Whatever is leftover will be eventually unbound and combined with oth=er pages from other journals to create my official physical book of shadows. Now, I know traditionally there is the book of shadows and the book of mirrors. Then there is the grimoire. This book really was meant for shadow work. Honestly, I feel this is more an easy way to organize rather than something that has to be followed. Book of Shadows just sounds cool, so yes, witchy aesthetics FtTW! 

This first week has surfaced all of my shadows, so much so that I titled this Shadows Against the Dark Moon, even though, we had just went through a full moon recently. I hope this helps and inspires others to share their beautiful witchcraft journeys. I hope you enjoyed reading this first entry of A Tiny Witch's Journey. Feel free to comment any feedback below and let me know how it works. I will drop these entries in to my social media weekly or whenever possible. I can't wait to write the next one. 

Blessed Be